Welcome and Hello, all you wonderful basement dwellers. iJimmy is back and hardcore as ever. We will be back to our regularly scheduled Sunday podcast this Sunday February 3rd. So sit back, relax, get naked, and enjoy this special edition of iJimmy.
First off I’d like to get started bitching about a group that I saw on facebook. Abortion should NOT be abolished. That’s right....NOT. Now if you’re a red blooded Canadian like me you’re all for spreading your seed. And if you’re American fuck off...just joking, but I still could care less. I really wasn’t joking.
Anyways first off I’ll clear up the misconception (pun definitely intended) about this abolition of abortion. First of all quit your damn bitching, all you women who are worried about abortion becoming illegal, its not going to be anytime soon. Rights are rights and you still have yours, your bra burning feminist ancestors guaranteed that back in the 60’s, so lets move on. The problem is that women can still have an abortion 9 MONTHS into the pregnancy. 9 MONTHS!!!
Now I’d like to introduce a new member of my team, Dr. Douchebag. Now according to Dr. Douchebag the fetus is nearly fully developed by the 9 month period. That means they have eyes ears a mouth and a hunger for breast milk. And we are still killing them. So what the government is wanting to do is just pull this number back to about 3 months. Now before you get your oversized thongs in a twist, prego women, let’s just think about this. By 9 months if you haven’t decided if you want to have an abortion yet you might as well fucking have the kid and give it up for adoption. I mean you’re not saving yourself any grief by that time, you’re fat, you’re fat and oh yeah you’re fat. So everyone is going to know and you’re going to have stretch marks. Incidentally if you are having an abortion because you’re worried about stretch marks you should die a horrible death. Of course we live in a moronic society and although democracy is a good thing it really would only work if 75% of the country wasn’t made up of people who use terms like ‘oh yeah’ and ‘c’mere a minute’. So when the issue is brought to vote, it of course is shot down. No one seems to understand that this is trying to help us. Population growth is a GOOD THING. Abortion BAD. Can you say that boys and girls? Population Growth GOOD, Abortion BAD. Good you get a cookie, or one of these special iJimmy brownies, that’s full of stem cells.
Anyways I think this is a good step forward, and not as bold as you all are making it out to be. I’m not for abortion but I’m also not against the rights of women who need it, my examples would be rape cases or women who would keep the kid and probably abuse it. But I think that we are bordering better ways to move on. Also on a side note, I’d like to just point out that all you women that are for abortion are against stem cell research. Sit back and let the irony sink in.
Now I’m going to stay on the same type of subject but to a different part of it. Recently some Canadian organizations attempted to lobby an attack against the 9 month grace period by putting ads up about it on buses. IMMEDIATELY the bus companies were bombarded by phone calls and nasty letters saying that the ads were inappropriate and unethical. Would you like to know what the ad said? So would I. Lets find out. http://thespec.com/Opinions/article/311944, read it up folks, and there is an exact picture of the ad that was on all the buses.
Now forgive me if I’m wrong but aren’t most of us AGAINST abortion. So why is it wrong to put up ads like this on our buses. I mean really I see ads about condoms, naked women selling perfume, and a number of other questionable things. Why then is it wrong to put up ads telling the exact truth about abortion. Its not like these ads are brainwashing people to hate abortion. Its just giving us a heads up...Hey Al! Yeah Bus? Abortion is allowed at 9 months! Oh thanks Bus I had no idea!
Do you get me bloggers? Maybe instead of wasting your time and especially MY precious time, complaining about BULLSHIT...(again I’d like to point out this is probably the same people that get all the funny commercials cancelled), maybe just MAYBE you can eat me, and start complaining about things that matter. Like maybe what the ad is trying to tell you, abortion at 9 months IS TOO FAR.
People question my methods, people question my lack of judgement when it comes to properly addressing these issues, but you know what I’m fighting for a just cause and I get my point across. I’m not sitting here bitching about that cola commercial that showed too much cleavage or was indicating that we should all just strip down and fuck. I don’t give a shit about that, its funny and its not real, so why can’t all you people that are bitching about it let it go and start putting your minds towards making a better world for all of us to live in.
Thats the iJimmy way, don’t you all want to live that way? I know iDo.
See you all Sunday,
iJimmy love.
